


Scream Into The Void

by tinyspacebear



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pastel/Punk AU, pastel!dan, punk!phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:56:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5845918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyspacebear/pseuds/tinyspacebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The local record shop by Dan’s new flat was filled with eccentric characters. There was Leo, the oddball American who owned the place, PJ who knew everything there was to know about putting on a good concert, Carrie who was the most talented person Dan had ever known, and then there was Phil. Phil with his tattoos and dyed hair who loved flowers just as much as Dan did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scream Into The Void

**Author's Note:**

> I love pastel!dan and punk!phil and I also love music and flowers so that explains this whole fic. Thanks again to Natalie and Michelle for being my lovely betas I don't know what I would have done without you! <3

London was gloomier than Dan had imagined. **  
**

Not that the whole of England wasn’t gloomy, what with all the cloudy weather, but there was something about the city that emanated a melancholy feeling he just couldn’t explain.

This was Dan’s first thought upon reaching the city last night, and today gave him no reason to change his mind. The sun had barely shone through the window all day, which did nothing to make him feel welcome in his new bedroom. He knew that if he were anyone else, he’d be delighted about moving to London. It was, after all, a beautiful city and a dream destination for plenty of people, but Dan couldn’t really bring himself to be happy about it. It wasn’t even about him missing Berkshire; the town itself didn’t hold any significance for him, and it wasn’t as though he had an abundance of friends he was sad to leave behind. He was the weird kid who liked flowers too much, and he found all of his old peers to be incredibly dull anyway. It was just that Dan didn’t do so well with change.

Maybe that’s the reason why the city had painted itself with a grey brush in his mind, but knowing this didn’t change anything. He’d been staring out his bedroom window for so long that his breath began to condense on the glass. Dan thought if he had to look at the depressing scene any longer, he’d start banging his head against the window repeatedly. At any rate, he wanted to go exploring around the neighborhood before the sun set.

Dan suppressed another sigh as he figured he’d reached his quota for “brooding teen behavior” for the evening. He pushed himself away from the window sill and walked over to his suitcase that lied next to his temporary blow up mattress. He still needed to unpack but he figured he could do it later. For now, he wanted to finish getting dressed and head out before dark.

He pulled on his favorite lavender jumper over his button-down and popped the collar over the neck hole. He turned to examine himself in the mirror before remembering that was yet another thing he’d  neglected to unpack.

Groaning, Dan made his way through his cluttered room and across the hall, stopping when he reached the bathroom door. He stepped inside briefly to look at himself in the mirror. Dan felt a bit silly caring so much about his appearance–he didn’t even plan on being out for very long–but he couldn’t help it. Dan had always hated the idea of leaving the house even the slightest bit disheveled.  He gave himself a quick once over; his jumper, the white collar, and his black skinny jeans were all in check. Dan didn’t care too much for his face or body, but wearing his favorite type of clothes made him feel a bit better about himself. He supposed the extra effort was worth it if it helped his self esteem.

Dan smiled at his reflection before turning on his heels and heading back into the hallway and down the stairs. Descending stairs felt weird, as his old house didn’t have them. This new place would take some getting used to, but he was surprised by how homey it felt already. The flat was small, but still spacious and the walls were a lovely beige Dan wouldn’t have imagined looking good, but somehow did. He knew that once his mother finished unpacking and arranged all of their belongings, the atmosphere would be more than halfway decent. The flat even came with a grand piano that the previous owners had left behind and Dan had to admit he was pretty excited to practice on it.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Dan had to step over several cardboard boxes that were scattered around the hardwood floor. He could hear his mother’s footsteps and the sound of boxes being moved around in the kitchen.

“Mum!” he shouted. “I’m going out!”

Dan caught a glimpse of the sun setting outside the window and it was only then that he realized how much time he’d wasted moping. He considered slipping out the door before his mum could respond but he didn’t want to be rude, so he paused in front of the entrance to the kitchen.

The sound of boxes shuffling came to a halt, but Dan’s mum remained out of his line of vision. “What, _now_? Where are you going?”

“Yes, now! And nowhere! I just wanted to take a walk around the neighborhood, get to know the shops and parks and everything!”

His mother appeared in the doorway, panting and wiping the back of her hand across her forehead. “How can you stand to shout so much? Is it because of your youthful tonsils?” She laughed at her own joke. “Anyway, I’d really rather you didn’t. It’s getting late and I’m sure there’s plenty of work for you to do here.”

“I had my tonsils removed when I was nine! You’d think that my own mother would remember that. And I won’t be long-” Dan tried to keep his voice calm, but he was starting to feel antsy, “-I’m just bored out of my mind up there, there’s nothing to do.”

“You could try unpacking.”

Dan scrunched his nose. Unpacking? Honestly, that was her genius solution to his boredom? An especially boring task he’d spent all day avoiding?  “There’s no WiFi yet and all my gaming consoles are still in boxes,” he continued, “I just want to get to know the neighborhood I’ll be living in for the next few years. I’ll be back before dark. I promise.”

His mother smiled fondly at him. “I’m happy to see you’re taking this change so well, dear.”

“Does this mean I can go?” Dan didn’t want to talk about his new life situation and in all honestly, he was eager to go exploring now. He’d seen an old record store from the window of the cab he rode in the previous night, and it didn’t seem too far off from where they lived. Dan wanted to check it out.

His mum walked over to him and adjusted his collar. “Fine. But don’t be long. You’re starting school tomorrow. Also, the flat is already so empty and I get lonely too, you know.”

Dan chuckled despite himself. “Don’t worry, Mum. I’ll be back soon.” He gave her one last smile before walking toward the front door, sidestepping around some stray boxes on the way. Dan contemplating adding an, “I love you.” or at least something to show his appreciation for his mum and how hard she’d worked to ensure that he lived a comfortable life. Instead, he stood up and just slipped out the door silently.

The moment Dan stepped outside he felt the cold evening air bite every visible patch of skin on his body. There was no wind blowing; it was only an awful chill that made Dan think he probably should have worn more layers, but he didn’t want to delay any longer. He’d just have to freeze his tits off.

Dan crossed the street, leaving his new place of residence behind. He looked over his shoulder at all the fancy flats and all their empty-looking windows. Dan wondered what it’d be like to climb out his window one night while the world around him was asleep. He pictured himself  somehow maneuvering his body down the side of the building, landing gently on the ground, and running as fast as he could. He’d  run continuously, failing to strain his lungs, and with no particular destination in mind. Dan imagined ending up at train station and spontaneously jumping aboard a train that would take him to a faraway city he’d never heard of. There, he’d meet all sorts of interesting people to have adventures with.

Dan snapped out of his daydream and shook his head. He hated how often his head was in the clouds. Frankly, it was sad how often he’d had fantasies similar to the window escapade. Life was just so painfully mundane at times, and nothing he did ever felt like it mattered. Going to school, learning to play piano, talking to the same people every day merely because they were stuck in the same place for the same span of time, telling his mother he was doing just fine–what was the point? The universe was a vast and endless void. Well maybe not technically a void–because it was filled with various galaxies and clusters upon clusters of stars–but it felt that way sometimes. A long empty hallway of darkness in which Dan always felt so small.  Sometimes he thought that maybe if he set off and did something dangerous and extraordinary that it might distract him from thoughts of the universe’s demise and his own impending death. But those sort of things only happen in the movies, and even if they did happen in reality, Dan was certain they wouldn’t happen to him.

He’d gotten so lost in his train of thought that he had neglected to pay attention to where he was going. Dan put his thoughts on hold for the time being as he tried to remember the exact turns he needed to reach  the record shop. He remembered seeing the neon pink sign at the storefront. It was the brightest object in the otherwise complete darkness, yet he couldn’t remember what it said.

Dan thought about giving up and heading somewhere else instead, but he knew it would bother him if he didn’t find it. He wrapped his arms across his chest and rubbed at his shoulders as he continued walking in a random direction, making a mental note of where he had walked so as to not get lost. God, where was the damn place and why was it hiding from him?

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan spotted a man with dark features sitting by himself on a park bench, reading a book with a title in a foreign language that Dan didn’t recognize. Figuring he might as well ask someone for directions, Dan made his way over to the man and stood in front of him. The man didn’t look up from his book.

Dan seemed to have lost his tongue because in that moment, he couldn’t remember how to speak the way he normally did. He continued to stand in front of the man for a good few seconds, completely silent and shifting his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet a few times. The man finally glanced at Dan from behind his book, his expression glazed.

“Um,” Dan stammered. Amazing. What a great way to greet a person. “Do you know of any record shops around here?”

The man stared blankly at Dan, so he just continued to ramble. “You know, a record shop? They sell music? The one I’m talking about has a giant neon sign at the front of their store?”

The man peered at Dan, furrowing his brow.

“Excuse me?”

A gentle voice interrupted from behind Dan. He quickly turned around to face two girls.

“My dad doesn’t speak English, can we help you with something?”

The voice belonged to the taller girl wearing a floral dress. She eyed him curiously while her sister stood quietly next to her with a blithe expression.

“Oh, well, I was just wondering if you guys knew of any record shops nearby? I just moved here and I saw one on the way to our flat I wanted to see it.” Dan smiled nervously as he ran a hand through his hair.

The girl, who Dan had dubbed “Flower Girl” smiled sweetly at him. “Hmm, do you know what the record store was called? I can’t say I’ve been to any around here, but maybe I’ve seen it!”

Dan mentally kicked himself for his awful memory. “No, I don’t remember the name but the sign for the store was a bright pink neon light.”

Flower Girl frowned at him and Dan was just about ready to give up when her sister spoke up. “He’s talking about Leo’s shop.”

“Who?” Flower Girl asked the question before Dan could.

“Leo. He’s the guy who owns the shop. It’s called Musically Yours. They’ve got a great selection of vintage records and the cashier with the curly brown hair is really cute.” She smirked. “Surprised you even noticed it though.” Flower Girl’s sister turned to Dan, addressing him directly for the first time. “It’s such a small place. Sort of hidden by everything around it, you know what I mean?”

Dan laughed politely. “Well the bright pink sign was hard to miss. My mum and I had a late start to our move so we ended up arriving near midnight and-”

“Wait, midnight? They usually close at ten on the weekdays. I wonder why the sign was on.”

Dan paused. That was a very good point. It hadn’t occurred to him to wonder why the record shop seemed to be the only store open so late.

“Ooh, mysterious!” Flower Girl twiddled her fingers in the air, as if casting a spell.

The three of them fell silent for a moment and Flower Girl’s sister gave a fake cough. “Anyway, it’s just a block down from here. Go up this street-” she gestured towards the road directly in front of them, “-then go right and you should see it.”

Dan thanked the girls and waved goodbye to their father, who had long since gone back to reading his book, but gave Dan a polite nod and smile as a goodbye. Dan began walking towards the shop, keeping in mind the directions he’d been given. He couldn’t help but think about what Flower Girl’s sister had said about the store being closed. Maybe when Dan had seen the sign, he’d just pictured what it would look like when it was on. But if that were the case, how had he known it was pink? Dan thought of Flower Girl’s silly spell gesture. There was no mystery; it had to be some sort of coincidence. Still, even he had to admit it was odd.

—

When Dan reached the end of the block, he turned right as instructed, and then he saw it: “Musically Yours” in bright neon pink halogen.

Now that Dan could see it in the light, he could see why Flower Girl’s sister had been so surprised that he’d noticed the shop in the dark. The stores to the left and right of it had incredibly flashy architecture, and they both seemed to be busy inside. Musically Yours was a bit of a wallflower in between its more vibrant neighbors.

A bell dinged when he pushed open the door, followed by, “Welcome to Musically Yours!” from an unknown voice that echoed throughout the shop. Dan looked around; the place was small in size, but there were plenty of shelves stocked with CDs, records, and even old tapes. The records were filed impeccably, arranged in rows and rows of boxes, each labeled with letters signifying which band or artist’s music the box contained. Dan couldn’t help but wonder whether anyone had gone through and looked at every single one; there were just so many. The walls were covered with posters of old rock bands and classic American films. Squinting his eyes, Dan made out a small, white sticker by each poster. Apparently, they were also available for purchase.

Upon finally seeing the shop, Dan was glad he’s put so much effort into looking for it. It was such a charming little place.

Dan was making his way through the “M” section for a bit before turning around the corner, where he saw a boy with curly brown hair and dark skinny jeans. The boy was standing on his tip toes to add tapes to the already large collection on the shelf. When he noticed Dan’s gaze, he turned his head towards him and grinned.

Dan almost looked away; he supposed that was just his immediate reaction to making eye contact with attractive people. This must have been the cashier that Flower Girl’s sister was talking about. He managed a shy smile and wave.

“Do you need me to help you with something?” The boy dropped some of the tapes he’d been holding into a box by his feet. Dan’s eyes widened. “Oh! Um…,” he thought fast, “…do you have any Radiohead records?” In all honesty, Dan had initially given an awkward wave just to be polite, but now that he had the boy’s attention he figured he’d better ask for something. Anyway, Radiohead was one of Dan’s favorite bands.

“Oh, yeah, of course! They’d be in the ‘R’ section; I can show you if you want.” The boy’s eyes were a bit sunken in, presumably from lack of sleep, but they twinkled when he smiled and they were a lovely shade of green that Dan was jealous of. His own brown eyes seemed dull in comparison. “Sure, that’d be great. Thank you,” Dan replied softly.

He followed the boy to the shelf of records under a sign with a giant “R” on it. He watched him sift through some of them before beaming “Here we go! Our Radiohead stuff starts from here-” he ran his fingers across several records,“-to here. We just got a bunch of new stuff in so we should have all of their albums. I’ll leave you to it, let me know if you need any more help!” He turned to walk away, but whipped around suddenly to face Dan, “I’m PJ by the way.”

Dan simply stared in response, but PJ continued to look at him expectantly. “Oh, I’m Dan” he stammered and held his hand out for PJ to shake. “Cool. I like Dan, it suits you.” Dan laughed letting go of PJ’s hand, and placing his own hand on the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. His name wasn’t anything all that special. It was just Dan. He was just Dan.

PJ walked back to the front of the store, and Dan returned to inspecting the store’s assortment of Radiohead albums. PJ was right; they did seem to have at least one copy of all of them. Dan stood looking through the albums for a couple of minutes, trying to decide whether he should buy one. Dan didn’t have too much money to spare, so he settled for just buying “In Rainbows” which was his favorite. He grabbed the record and wandered up to the front to pay.

As he approached, he heard what sounded like the strumming of a guitar. Sure enough, when he reached the front, PJ was sitting behind the register with an electric guitar in his hands. Dan guessed the management must not be too strict on what their employees did in their downtime. He was playing a song that Dan didn’t recognize, but it sounded pleasant enough.

PJ had gotten so lost in the music that he didn’t even notice Dan standing at the counter. When he finally caught sight of him he jumped slightly, almost falling off the stool he was perched on. PJ stood up, and frantically put his guitar back on its stand.

He pivoted to face Dan and the register again. “Did you find everything alright?” PJ asked when he’d finally straightened himself out.

“Yeah, thanks,” Dan replied with a small smirk, handing him the record. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. He had just enough money to afford it. After he paid, Dan thanked PJ one last time, but as he turned to leave, PJ spoke up again: “Good choice, by the way; that’s a great album.”

Dan remained silent for a moment. “Yeah,” he replied, looking down, “It’s one of my favorites.” When he glanced back up, Dan was met with PJ’s stupidly large grin and twinkling eyes. Were these friendly gestures and compliments some sort of hardcore customer service tactic he was employing? If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d swear PJ actually liked him.

PJ looked like he was about to say something else, but the loud ding of the door announced the arrival of a new customer.

“Welcome to Musically… Phil!” PJ shouted, his professional expression quickly replaced with a grin.  
  
Dan directed his eyes towards the door, where a tall boy with many piercings and visible tattoos was standing and smiling at PJ. “Musically Phil! That’s a great name for a music shop; you should talk to Leo about having it changed.”

PJ didn’t even respond to the joke, as he was too focused on racing around the register to tackle Phil in a hug.

“You nerd, I’m glad you’re back! I know it’s only been a few days but you missed so much!”

Phil laughed as PJ released him from his grip, “How much could I possibly miss in a three-day absence?”

Dan’s eyes flickered to the door. Should he leave? PJ had been so friendly towards him; he figured he should at least say a proper goodbye. Dan tried to interrupt, timidly holding his forefinger outstretched, but PJ was too engrossed in conversation. Unsuccessful, he withdrew his hand and bit his lip. Dan resigned to standing by the register frozen, his posture stiff.

“…well for one thing, Carrie finally broke up with her terrible boyfriend. Oh! And Leo’s helping me and the band organize a concert! It’ll take months to set it up, but I think it’ll be worth it!”

“Oh my God, Peej, slow down,” Phil laughed. “I’m excited for you, but what happened with Carrie?”

PJ shook his head, “The guy was cheating on her, like you suspected.”

Phil grimaced. “I was really hoping I was wrong about that.”  PJ nodded sadly.

Dan’s discomfort continued as the two spoke about their friend’s unfortunate circumstances. He knew none of what he was hearing was any of his business but he really didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. However, it didn’t seem to matter; the two had completely forgotten that Dan was there.

Phil scalded the cheating boyfriend and him and PJ both agreed that they’d never trusted him. Phil thought that they needed to give Carrie her space but PJ claimed that Phil should call her and went into a detailed rant about how she only ever feels better after talking to him.

The more time Dan spent listening to them talk the more he felt that no one would really miss him if he just left. He began walking towards the door and managed to take two steps before his foot got caught in PJ’s guitar cable, yanking it free from the amp it was attached to and causing Dan to fall to his hands and knees.

“Oh my God, Dan!” PJ shouted and Dan didn’t know if the surprised tone was due to the fact that he had fallen or if PJ had just suddenly remembered Dan’s existence. Phil met Dan’s eyes for the first time as he took in the situation. PJ rushed to Dan’s side and offered him a hand. “Sorry, that was my fault!” Dan took PJ’s hand and stood up. He straightened his sweater out and brushed himself off trying to ignore the blood that was rushing to his cheeks.

Dan glanced towards Phil again and saw him place the, now rolled up, cable on top of the amp. Phil avoided making direct eye contact with Dan but Dan could tell he was trying really hard not to laugh.  

To Phil’s credit, he was actually quite good at keeping his composure. “Well I guess you can miss a lot in just three days. Peej, did you miss me so much that you had to find someone with the same haircut as me to take my place?” Phil stuck his tongue out at PJ in mock offense.

PJ sighed. “Dan, this is Phil, he’s a nerd who likes flowers and tattoos.” PJ said gesturing towards Phil. “Phil, this is Dan, he likes Radiohead.”

“Hello, Dan!” Phil chirped and the two of them awkwardly shook hands.

The first thing Dan noticed about Phil were his eyes. They were an icy blue color but they somehow managed to be the warmest eyes Dan had ever seen. In fact, Phil’s entire face was very warm and friendly. He had a face that one would trust right away despite not knowing him at all.

Dan also noted that Phil’s fringe was dyed dark blue. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed when Phil first walked through the door but the blue was so dark it seemed oddly natural; as if Phil’s hair had been blue his entire life. Dan had always wanted to dye his hair, maybe a pastel purple or pink color, but he could never muster up the courage to do it.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Dan realized he’d been holding Phil’s hand for much too long and he quickly released his grasp.

“It’s nice to meet you too! Why didn’t PJ introduce us before? ”  
  
Dan shrugged. “I only moved to the neighborhood last night and I literally just met him.” He tried to keep eye contact but Phil was really pretty as well. Maybe London was just full of beautiful people.

“So he’s roped you in, already!” Phil gave PJ’s arm a light punch and PJ frowned at him but in a goodnatured sort of way. “I’m hospitable.” PJ punched Phil’s arm back. “Plus he seemed cool, I dunno.” Dan was the farthest thing from cool but he wasn’t about to argue.  

“Thanks, I guess. You’re abnormally friendly.” Dan says, hugging his new record to his chest.

“Anyone who likes Radiohead is a friend of mine.” PJ clapped Dan on the back. It was a friendly gesture but Dan clumsily lurched forward a bit.

“Hey, someone should introduce me!” PJ exclaimed suddenly.

“We both already know you.” Phil said still rubbing the arm PJ had punched. His eyes landed on Dan again. “Well, sort of.” He grinned. Phil did that a lot. Smiling and grinning. It made Dan feel a little less uneasy despite how awkward he felt.

It wasn’t as though PJ and Phil were making him uncomfortable. Dan was just an awkward person in general.  The way he always explained his behavior to people, or how he would explain it if anyone ever bothered to listen, was that it was similar to when people are dancing or being intimate and they don’t know what to do with their hands. Except for Dan, he didn’t know what to do with his entire self in any situation.

PJ nudged Phil with his elbow. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! Sum me up in a sentence like I did with you guys.”

“Okay, fine. Dan, this is PJ. He’s in a band and they suck.”

Dan involuntarily snorted and held his hand to his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

“Ha ha, very funny. If my band sucks then your tattoos are ugly.” PJ said pointing to a tattoo of a watercolour lion on Phil’s left arm.

“Nuh-uh, my tattoos are amazing!” Phil stuck his tongue at PJ.

“They are.” Dan said without really meaning to and his voice felt out of place in the conversation. At times, Dan had serious issues with word vomit but he meant what he said; Phil’s tattoos were lovely. The lion was colored orange, yellow, and red like the sun and the watercolor splatter effect made it all the more unique. But what really caught Dan’s eye was the array of flowers running down Phil’s right arm in a half sleeve. They were an assortment of various colored roses; darker shades than Dan would have picked but beautiful nonetheless. When Dan looked more carefully he also spotted a small pink carnation on Phil’s wrist.

“Thanks.” Phil said and smiled sweetly; abandoning the mock-cocky tone he’d taken with PJ.  
  
“Pink Carnations symbolize a mother’s love, don’t they?” Dan asked, gesturing towards Phil’s wrist tattoo.

“Yeah!” Phil replied, “I’m really close to my Mum so I got it for her.” That, to Dan made it all the more beautiful and he had to physically stop himself from reaching out and touching it.

“It’s really cool that you know that.” Phil continued, making perfect eye contact with Dan which he had to break because Phil’s unblinking yet kind eyes were a bit overwhelming for him.

Dan smiled sheepishly looking at the ground again, “Yeah I just, I dunno, I really love flowers? I know that sounds silly; everyone likes flowers but I’ve always really liked that they all have meanings and–it’s kind of hard to explain–they’re just very pretty, you know? Unrealistically pretty–that doesn’t even make sense.” Dan shook his head as if it would help to clear his jumbled thoughts. “What I mean by that is that they’re so pretty that you wonder how they’re even real. Sorry that probably made zero sense.”

Phil beamed at Dan, “No, I know exactly what you mean.”   

Dan bit his lip nervously. Phil was giving him this look, as if he thought that Dan had personally planted every beautiful flower in existence.

“Oh my God, not another flower nerd.” PJ’s voice pierced through the heavy atmosphere, “Nevermind Dan, we can’t be friends. You can leave our lives forever now.” PJ smirked in a way that made it obvious he was joking but Dan’s heart still sank a bit. He supposed he’s probably just a paranoid person but he didn’t want to leave PJ and Phil forever. Sure, he had barely spoken to either of them but PJ complimented his taste in music and Phil loves flowers enough to have them permanently etched into his skin. Dan couldn’t explain it but standing with them in that record shop made him feel like he belonged somehow.

“No, I’m keeping him!” Phil ran to the shop’s exit and blocked the door. PJ shook his head at him but Dan couldn’t help but smile. “Now you have to stay here and talk to me about flowers forever!” Phil said extending his arms out vertically to further block Dan’s exit.

Phil had the most ridiculous look of determination on his face that Dan had to laugh, diverting his gaze to the to his shoes.  Something warm and fuzzy was growing inside of him and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

Dan directed his attention back towards PJ who had remained quiet during Phil’s scene. Now he was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and an exaggerated grumpy expression on his face.

“I’m sure your band doesn’t suck.”  Dan reassured him although he was certain that PJ wasn’t actually angry with Phil at all. Dan liked how comfortable the two seemed to be with each other. He briefly wondered what it would be like to be that close to someone but PJ’s voice brought him back to reality.  “Thank you, Dan. I know we haven’t known each other long but you’re my new best friend now.” Dan fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt not knowing what to say in response. He still couldn’t believe PJ and Phil were being so nice to him for virtually no reason. PJ broke him free of his thoughts again, “Since Phil is busy trapping you here, would _you_ like to hear about my band’s concert?”  
  
“I never said I didn’t want to hear about it,” Phil’s voice came from directly behind Dan and he jumped at his abrupt appearance.  “I was just concerned about Carrie.” There was a short pause and then Phil’s eyes went wide, “I forgot about Carrie!” He smacked his hand on his forehead. “Is it too late to call her?”

“No, I’m sure she’ll be awake,” PJ told him, “Just go call her now. I should start closing up in about an hour anyway.”

“Wait, closing?” Time couldn’t have possibly gone by so quickly, but it seems it had. Dan peered out the shop’s windows and lo and behold, the sky was much blacker than it had been when he’d first arrived.

Dan would have loved to stay and here about PJ’s concert or ask Phil what his favorite flower was but he had to go.

PJ and Phil looked at Dan in concern. “Everything alright?” Phil inquired.

“Oh my God, I’m–I promised my Mum I’d be back before dark. I gotta go; she’s going to kill me. It was really nice meeting you guys!”  
  
“We’ll see you around, yeah?” PJ shouted after Dan as he ran out the door. Dan stopped just short of the exit and turned back around, already a bit out of breath. “Sure, I’ll come back tomorrow; after school or something!” The last thing he saw was PJ and Phil’s smiling faces as he turned to run again.  
  
“See you then!” A loud voice, which Dan had quickly begun to associate with Phil shouted at Dan’s receding form. Despite how drained he felt from the unexpected social interaction,  he couldn’t help but feel touched by the fact that they wanted to see him again. Dan didn’t know what he had done to make PJ and Phil like him–he wasn’t exactly good at first impressions–but he was glad he had seemingly done something right. He couldn’t believe that he had left the flat feeling alone and out of place and come back with the hopes of potential friendship. Maybe PJ and Phil could be his proper friends. Maybe they’ll all jokingly tease each other about things. Maybe PJ would give him bear hugs when he missed him. Maybe Phil would get that protective look in his eyes at the idea of anyone cheating on Dan.

Dan would sigh if he wasn’t so out of breath. He was happy he would see PJ and Phil again soon, but he didn’t want to get his hopes too high.

The already cold air had become even colder, and Dan couldn’t run for too long before he had to stop to catch his breath but it was alright. He remembered how to get back with ease. Somehow the way back home felt a lot shorter than the original journey.

Dan didn’t expect it to take so long to find the shop, nor did he expect to get so caught up in conversation with PJ and Phil; he hoped his mother would be more understanding about his lateness if he mentioned that he’d made a couple of new friends.

He turned the corner on the street where his new flat was and saw the light on in the window of his floor. His stomach churned with butterflies. She wouldn’t be too angry with him, he was sure, but he didn’t like to disappoint her. He really did hope she wasn’t too angry because he wanted to tell her about Phil and PJ.  

_I’ve made friends, Mum. They liked me for no reason and one of them understands my weird obsession with flowers. I don’t know how long it’ll be before they get bored of me but when I talked to them I sort of forgot about the endless void and the emptiness of my own life for a while and I think that must mean something. Some things have to mean something, don’t they?_

Somehow, he didn’t think she’d understand.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! I'm phanbears on tumblr if you want to talk there!


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